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bookfair by ~attictapes on deviantART

this is my favorite picture that i have taken in a really long time. there was a book fair yesterday. i was being really anti-social all day and didn't want to go anywhere but my roommate and i dragged ourselves there. it started off by us getting a pedicure and manicure. don't laugh/vomit. it was actually kind of nice to do something for myself (for once). then we got on the ferry to get across the river. we went to felipe's and had some delicious quesadillas. they had some obnoxious rancheritas playing in the background but i didn't mind so much. we rode our bikes to decatur where they were having this bookfair afterward. i didn't actually buy any books, i just wandered around. we went into this bar called yuki where we had to wear white gloves to touch anything that was on display. they had artwork and little trinkets to look at. they also had an estate sale across the street. i didn't go in, but long story short i ended up with a little night stand this morning courtesy of my roommate who said she owed me pizza money. on our way back from the fair yesterday, we passed by what i would call a hip-hop version of cirque du soleil..except the performers spoke on the mics occasionally and made really racist comments. they still ended up gathering a huge sum of money from the crowd. when we got home, we watched edward scissorhands and i finished my first scarf of the year. i'm kind of proud of it. not too bad for a saturday.

two days later

if somebody ever asks what i was doing when it was announced:

i was sitting on an ugly green couch crocheting a blue scarf.
i went to target and bought the exact same desk that i had while i was in grad school. as lame as it sounds, it feels a little bit like i'm back home and that makes me incredibly happy. 32 days and counting. can't wait till i go back to new mexico to see my family again. i almost quit this week because it was so awful at my school. i'm just rolling with the punches and not quitting. i literally have bruises on my arms from having to break up fights or prevent fights from escalating during recess. the way i see it, if my dad could put up with such a shitty job and be so unhappy with it every single day for the past 23 years, i should be able to handle the job i have for two years.
so this whole new bike thing is working out really good! :D i got a flat the first couple of days which made me really discouraged because it's a hassle having to repair a flat and what not. i guess i got a little carried away riding my bike practically everywhere. i got better inner tube things and things are fine now. i'm going down by the river or whatever on saturday with some work friends and then we're having some sort of picnic. should be fun times. it's good to have something else to focus my mind on. i'm living for myself and only for myself now and it had been years since i had done that.

kind of cheesy, i know.

i'm not even sure what it means but apparently a picture that i took of my doggy solin almost 2 years was featured (with others) on a deviantart news story.


rest in peace by ~attictapes on deviantART
another bed

another bed
another woman

more curtains
another bedroom
another kitchen

other eyes
other hair
feet and toes

everybody's looking.
the eternal search.

you stay in bed
she gets dressed for work
and you wonder what happened
to the last one
and the one before that . . .
it's all so comfortable-
this love-making
this sleeping together
the gentle kindness. . .

after she leaves you get up and use her
it's all so intimate and so strange.
you go back to bed and
sleep another hour.

when you leave it's with sadness
but you'll see her again
whether it works or not.

you drive down to the shore and sit
in your car. it's almost noon.

-another bed, other ears, other
ear rings, other mouths, other slippers, other
       colors, doors, phone numbers.

you were once strong enough to live alone.
for a man nearing sixty you should be more

you start the car and shift.
thinking, I'll phone Jeanie when I get in,
I haven't seen her since Friday.

-Charles Bukowski

Nov. 28th, 2007

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promises shouldn't come with an expiration date.
i love you forever and will always consider you my best friend... 
i deleted some people.

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